4.3 Pun Dad jokes

I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy…

Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!

I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro: it’s a total rip-off.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport: I’m just doing it for kicks!

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.

The judge asks her, “First offender?”

She says, “No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”

Last night I slept like a baby.

I woke up three times, cried for two hours, and pooped my pants.