4.1 One-liner and short Dad jokes

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

A man was walking through a graveyard when he saw a lady sitting on a bench.

“Morning,” he said.

“No,” she replied. “Just resting.”

Today, my son asked “Can I have a book mark?” and I burst into tears: He’s 11 years old and he still calls me ‘Mark’… but my name is ‘Brian’.

I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!

You know, some people say that they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he even laughs!

I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed!

I can jump higher than a house… because houses can’t jump!

Two blood cells fell in love… but it was all in vein.